This past week I made it my intention to talk about being sober and social at the same time. For a very long time I didn’t really believe it to be possible. As we move into the holiday season, I wanted to give an extra dose of faith and courage to those playing with the idea of sobriety or who are freshly sober.
It IS possible, it CAN happen, thoughts and beliefs DO change if you want them to. I handed out some practical tips for socializing and talked about my process for reframing beliefs around having fun without booze.
Unintentionally, this conversation came full circle this weekend. I hosted a gathering of friends in my new home. We had a fire ceremony in my backyard during which we let go of what is no longer serving us and called in something new that will.
The purpose was to fill my home with warm, strong, female energy- something I had been lacking in prior months and have been cultivating more of. We chatted, laughed, ate soup, drank hot tea and bubbly water, and sat by a fire. It was.... Lovely.
Here’s the crazy thing: It didn’t even occur to me that I wasn’t providing an alcoholic beverage option for anyone to enjoy, or that I should be providing one (I was more concerned with hosting a party solo and building a firepit and fire by myself- both of which were successful endeavors btw.) There was no awkward explanation, “well I don’t drink alcohol so I don’t have any… but PLEASE feel free to bring your own,” it just was what it was. Had someone brought a bottle of wine to enjoy there would have been no problem, but it happened to not come up. What did come up was multiple women sharing with me reasons they were choosing not to drink or to drink less.
Physical health, mental clarity, cultivating healthy relationships, setting an example for children, forming new healthier coping mechanisms were just a few.
Without any effort, a space opened up for the conversation to happen.
Two years ago the idea of this party would have been entirely inconceivable to me. Not only would I have encouraged everyone to bring whatever alcohol they wanted to drink and made a point of having a conversation about it, but I probably would have picked up some beer or wine just to be sure everyone had something to enjoy.
The point is: Shift happens. It doesn’t happen all at once, and it might not happen in the order that makes most sense to your logical mind or that is most convenient BUT…. it happens. If you are in the first few months or are just trying on sobriety and can’t imagine what it looks like down the road for you- let this be a snapshot of a maybe.